Everyday Canadian Life with Monster Girls
by Rook T. Overferret
Summary: Aubrey Barker's ex-roommate plays an elaborate prank to have the Department of Extraspecies Affairs have him host a monster girl. Of course, he never expected to be made responsible for a basilisk that could paralyze him with a single glare! Based on the work by Okayado, may contain mature, yet tasteful, themes.


Aubrey Barker didn't know exactly how his day was going to go when he woke up early on a warm summer morning. He had his worries, of course, such as figuring out how he was going to pay rent when his roommate left him alone in his Winnipeg home on such short notice.

He was slightly worried, especially with the recent repairs he had to make to the old house cutting so close to the money he put aside for his bills.

With a hot mug of coffee in hand, he looked over the table, laden with various bills he was due to pay.

"Fuck that guy," Aubrey cursed under his breath in the empty kitchen to no one but himself. "Dude should have, at least, paid for the internet bill."

The home itself was once a duplex in the middle of the suburbs; two conjoined homes that shared a single wall that was built in the late 1970s. When Aubrey bought the home off a friend of his family, he and his roommate elected to tear down a few sections of the shared wall to make the living space bigger. Where once was two doors side by side, now one was replaced by a tall window that peered into a large living-room.

The doorbell rang while he was in the middle of his sip. The hot fluid scorched his tongue and dripped over the table, staining the papers.

With a groan, he stood up and put his coffee to the side before proceeding to the door.

The bell rang again, and Aubrey could only guess it was either a salesman wanting to give him insurance or a missionary looking to convert him.

"Look, the sign says no peddlers, buddy," Aubrey grumbled as he opened the door enough to peek around it.

Before he could continue the second part of his well-practiced rejection, he took a second to look over the pair on his doorstep.

"Are you Mr. Barker?" asked the older gentleman of the pair, immediately grabbing Aubrey's attention.

The young man nodded his head, his focus intent on the well-dressed visiter. If he had to guess, he would assume this guy was some sort of government representative or a lawyer looking to serve him a subpoena.

The older fellow reached into his pocket and pulled out a card, reaching it out for Aubrey to take. "I'm Agent Smith, from the Department of Extraspecies Affairs."

Aubrey turned his head to the right, registering another figure beside the middle-aged agent. From the waist up, the figure appeared to be a young woman in a dark hoodie, her arms crossed over her chest and a gold-coloured mask covering her face. His eyes traveled down, noting the long, purple serpent in place of her legs, with a tuft of what appeared to be feathers on the very tip of the tail.

"The reason we're here today is the thank you for registering your home to host an exchange student," Smith continued. He reached out, grabbing Aubrey's hand and giving it a firm shake.

"I'm hosting what?"

"A monster," the agent replied with his stoic face. "A girl one."

The young man paused, looking the lady up and down for an uncomfortable amount of time.

The arrival should have come to a great surprise and even shock, but this sort of event wasn't all too uncommon anymore.

It started with the Japanese government, who outed the existence of monsters to the world and openly accepted them into their communities. That was several years ago, and other developed countries followed suit in turn. The programs for each country differed, but not by much. Monsters would be allowed to dwell in the cities, granted they take a course at local schools to learn history and human culture. It was a sort of "exchange program," and the monsters, more often female, would be placed in human homes to help stimulate their education.

Agent Smith's expression went from a forced smile to a more natural frown. His shoulders dropped and he cleared his throat to get Aubrey's attention again. "Now don't be a rude prick," he said with a prickly tone. "Say hi to Lily."

The younger man was a little thrown off by the government agent's order, but it was necessary to break the uneasy silence that hung in the air.

The serpentine woman extended her hand first to shake. "Trevligt att träffas," she spoke in a language that was unfamiliar with her host. "Um... A pleasure, Mr. Barker, sir."

Aubrey gently took her hand and gave it the shake. At closer inspection, her hand was covered in pale, golden skin akin to a birds, and tipped with long, crimson-red nails that were more like claws. Her touch was cold, but he wouldn't necessarily call it clammy.

"Pleasure to meet you, too," he replied as he looked her in the ruby in the center of her mask.

"So I have to ask, but..." Aubrey continued with a finger pointed to the golden visage. "What's with the mask?

The basilisk raised her hands to touch her facial cover, then bowed her head. "Mr. Smith broke my glasses, so I'm stuck wearing this until they get replaced."

"That's not really what I meant," he replied. "I meant, like, why are you wearing it at all?"

"Because she can paralyze you with direct eye contact," Agent Smith chimed in. "Even a glace in each other's eyes, and you'll drop to the floor."

The awkward silence crept into the room once again. Aubrey looked Lily in the face again, analyzing her mask and noting slits for her to see. He was fortunate that her head remained bowed, else he probably would have already been a victim to the cursed gaze the agent mentioned.

"So…" The new host said, turning his direction to the older gentleman. "Are you sure this isn't a mistake or something? I don't remember signing up for anything like this."

"Nonsense," Smith exclaimed, opening a briefcase he kept at his side and pulling out a small stack of papers. "Our office contacted you a couple months back if you would be interested in hosting. You said yes and signed all the necessary forms."

Aubrey grimaced, taking the papers from the old man's hand and spotting the signature below. As he suspected, it was a crude forgery from his previous roommate, likely done as an equally crude prank.

"Wait a second, this isn't-"

"I also dropped off your new car in the driveway, and your first cheque and credit card should already be in the mail to this address," Smith cut him off.

The host tilted his head, trying to gauge if the agent was serious. "A car?"

"Well, a van, really, suited for driving Lily and any other extraspecies to the local college," Smith said, adjusting his suit. "Information is in the package there. We'll also be paying for any utilities, food, renovations, and whatever."

"So I'm being paid to rent out my home?"

"Yep. A good sum, too. Enough to take care of all of Lily's needs here."

"So I'm also a caretaker?"

"Yep."

"So what about my job? I can't just leave it."

"There's a note signed by the Prime Minister in there excusing you from work. This is your new job."

Aubrey flipped through the papers in his hands. Sure enough, it was all in there and more. "But I don't know anything about Basilisks or other monsters. How am I supposed to know all this stuff?"

"There's a form in there as well. You're also being registered at the college to attend a special course," Smith said, leaning over and thumbing through the pages in Aubrey's hand. "It will get you educated in the basics by next week."

"So I am just a glorified caretaker."

"Yep again," Smith said, snapping his case closed and backstepping towards the door. "Anyways, I have a ride of my own waiting. So, good luck, and I'll be back with her stuff in a bit."

"But what am going to do about-"

Smith turned and left the home before Aubrey could finished speaking. The young man followed, but the agent got into another vehicle and sped off down the street.

So it was just the two of them, a man and a serpent. Of course, it was awkward again, but she would follow him into the kitchen for him to make a pot of coffee in silence.

With a hot mug for each of them on the table, neither made any eye contact for the obvious reason, but Lily spoke first.

"Thanks," she said in her soft voice. "I'll try to keep to myself as best I can. I can understand having a monster like me suddenly put into your care to be, um, uncomfortable."

Aubrey shook his head. "Nah, don't worry about it," he said, then took another sip from his mug. "I was looking for someone to share this house with me. It's kind of a coincidence."

The snake-woman giggled, raising a hand to cover her smile. "I suppose so."

"So where are you from, Lily?"

The basilisk tilted her head, thinking for a moment to word her reply. "I'm from a small village in Sweden."

"Canada's a long way from home, isn't it? Why here of all places?"

"It is a long way," Lily said, looking off to the side and running the tip of her red fingernail around the rim of the mug. "Sweden is a small country, and my village is close to another human village. The humans knew about us, but visiting them was a no-no."

"Were they scared of you or something?"

She shrugged. "I suppose they were afraid of getting paralyzed by accident. Basilisks do not often wear these masks when we're at home. It's used for ceremonies only, but I have to wear it for now until my glasses come in."

The human nodded his head. "Are they special glasses or something?"

She shook her head. "No. Not at all. It's just glass, but the stare only works on direct eye-contact. The glass filters it so I can see clearly and not hurt anyone."

"What if I had a pair of sunglasses? Would that work for you?"

She shook her head again. "For the stare, yes. But, um, my vision would still be blurry."

"Oh! They're prescription lenses?"

"Yes."

"What if you had contacts?"

"That's different," Lily said, grimacing to her own thoughts. "Some basilisks try that, but they melt on our eyes. We can go blind."

Aubrey scratched the back of his neck. "So, how's your vision now, actually? Is it nearsighted? Farsighted?"

She carefully placed her mug on the table. "Umm… Far-away things, I'm fine. Close things, like my mug, are super blurry. I absolutely need my glasses in order to read anything."

"And I guess the mask doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

"Worse. Much worse. I have to squint through these little slits, and I have no peripheral vision."

"That sounds pretty bad. What if it takes a while for that agent to get your new glasses?"

Lily raised her hands defensively, waving them in front of her. "Don't misunderstand. I would prefer to wear this over nothing at all. It's uncomfortable, but with the eye-slits so tight, you can't see my eyes at all."

The young man smiled softly and raised his mug to his lips. "Thanks for being concerned with my safety, then."

The Basilisk woman nodded her head and curled her lips into an equally soft smile. "Paralyzing you would make a bad first impression."

Aubrey nodded his head and took another sip. He placed his mug back down and took note of how close Lily's mug was to the edge of the table. "So… When is Agent Smith going to come back with your bags?"

"He said he'd pick up some extra glasses for me when he was dropping me off here," She said as she slipped a finger underneath her mask to likely scratch an itch on her concealed cheek. "My guess, with traffic, he should be a couple hours."

"Good to know," said the man as he stands up from the table to put his mug in the sink. "Should I show you to your room, or something?"

The basilisk woman nodded her head with that same smile. She wasn't necessarily sitting down; her long tail was coiled tightly underneath her to serve as a chair of sorts. The coil relaxed, allowing Lily to follow close as her host lead the way.

"So I must ask," the monstrous homestay started as she slithered up the stairs behind Aubrey. "What made you decide on signing up for the program? I mean, taking a complete stranger into your home -a creature often regarded as a hideous monster, no less- must be such a burden to accept."

Aubrey hadn't taken the time to think about a reply to such a question, so he stopped in front of a closed do before giving her his best answer. "To tell you the truth: it's all a mistake."

She tilted her head and reached a hand up to keep her mask from sliding off her face. "What do you mean by that?"

"My last roommate filled out the documents, it seems," he said as she crossed his arms over his chest. "I guess he wanted to cause me some awkward situations with the government after he ran off without paying rent."

Lily hung her head and slumped her shoulders upon hearing that. "Oh… So… Me being here is awkward?"

"Oh! No! Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like that," he exclaimed, waving his hands as if to defend himself. "Just the circumstances, really. I wasn't expecting to get another roommate so soon!"

He took note of her long, pointed ears perking up from behind her mask before she stood tall again. She bowed her head gently for a moment and returned with that same soft smile.

"I think I understand what you mean," she said, bringing a red nail to her chin. "You were just unprepared for such an unexpected arrival."

He nodded his head and placed his hand on the doorknob of the room. "Something like that. I mean, you seem alright. Doesn't hurt me at all that the government's covering expenses and giving me a cute roommate."

Lily's smile stretched a little, and her face seemed to redden under her mask. "You think I'm cute?"

Aubrey's own face reddened considerably. "I mean, well… anyways," he stammered before opening the door of the spare bedroom. "This is your room."

The two stepped and slithered inside, forgetting the moment of innocence to take in the sight.

It was one of two master bedrooms in the duplex, allowing the serpentine lady to move about relatively freely before she brushed her side against either the bare futon or plain, empty desk. There was an old wooden dresser, and plenty of shelving. On the wall was a noticeable spot where the wall above the desk wasn't evenly sunbleached, and there was a hole with a couple wires coming out.

"You have the basics in here," the host said as he stepped over the long tail to stand beside his roommate. "I got covers for the bed in the hallway closet. The desk used to have a television mounted there and cables for the router are there too."

"What happened to the television?"

"The last roommate took it when he left."

She slithered around the room and stopped at the window overlooking a park with a narrow creek running through it.

"What a lovely sight you have here," she said before opening the window upwards and poking her head out.

"The park? It's public, so you can walk down it when you want. Wouldn't recommend going down it at night."

"Why not?"

"The lamps went out years ago and were never bothered to be replaced. You can't see anything when it's dark, and there's almost always a couple annoying homeless guys in the evening."

"Oh. That's a shame," she said as she pulled her head back through the window. "I kind of like a nice evening stroll."

"Anyways, should I leave you to get a bit comfortable? You can rearrange things as you like."

Lily nodded her head. "I think I should be alright, but, umm…"

"But what?"

"Mr. Smith did tell me that a couple workers will come here tomorrow to help get me comfortable."

Aubrey hummed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I wasn't aware of that. So what does that mean?"

"It means that I kind of gave them a description of how I'd like my room," she said. She pointed to the desk and the futon. "Stuff like those… don't fit someone like me. The bed's too small and I can't sit at a desk comfortably."

He nodded his head and back away towards the door, careful to step over her tail. "Okay. I can see that. I can live with a few renovations," he said by the time he got to the door. "I'll be just down the hall if you need me. I've got some paperwork to figure out, so just call if you need me."

"Okay," Lily said with a nod. "Thank you so much, Mr. Barker."

"Just call me Aubrey."

"Thank you, Aubrey."

With that, the host left the monster girl to her own devices and to get used to her new surroundings. He sat back at his table, reviewing all the bills and wondered if he even needed to bother paying any of them now that he's supposedly being reimbursed by Department of Extraspecies Affairs. He took a look through the stack of paper the agent left him, just to check all the things "he signed up for."

There was quite a lot on just the few first pages, and a lot of it sounded like they were really trying to sell him on the idea of taking in a monster roommate.

There was even a credit card mixed in with the paperwork. From the documents, there were a few rules included with it. Restaurant visits were limited to once a week. Groceries are paid for except for confections. Things bought from college supply stores were covered without question. Mall visits were limited to $75 a week per home resident. Every other purchase seemed to need approval from the department. As for basic utility bills, like water and electricity, those seemed to be handled by the department.

As Aubrey was reading through all the paperwork, he heard a shrill yelp, following by a heavy thump of something hitting the floor.

He quickly walked over to investigate the noise. "Lily? Are you alright? I heard-" He stopped dead in his tracks as he turned the corner into her room. With a flash of red light, he felt his legs buckle from underneath his suddenly heavy body. The last thing he saw before he hit the floor was the basilisk hastily covering her bare face while her mask sit on the windowsill behind her.

All Aubrey could could feel was the sensation of needles all over his skin as his vision returned. He tried to move his feet, his fingers, or any part of his body, but his entire body remained numb and motionless.

"Someone wasn't being careful here," said a familiar voice, then Aubrey felt something set off the tingling in his cheek.

Agent Smith leaned over the paralyzed man on the uncovered futon, trying to slap some sensation back into his face.

"I'm so sorry. It was all my fault; I took off my mask and wanted to move some stuff before it got renovated," said who the host could clearly tell was Lily.

"Something like this was bound to happen eventually," the agent said. He looked over at his wrist and then back at the man on the bed. "So he's been out for about two and a half hours… At least he's awake."

Smith grasped Aubrey by the jaw, giving him a light shake. "You have your eyes moving. How's the rest of your face?"

Aubrey's had some sensation, but his tongue felt fuzzy and numb as the rest of his body. "Ah o-hay," he muttered, trying to say "I'm okay."

The agent furrowed his brow and turned to the basilisk. "I'm going to let this one slide, I guess. Just an accident," he said as he straightened the collar of his suit. "Glasses stay on, though, always."

"I promise, sir. I won't take them off."

"Good. Renovation team will be here tomorrow to furnish the rooms. Call me if he's still like this in an hour."

"Understood."

Though Aubrey couldn't exactly see what was going on, he could hear the steps of Mr. Smith exit the room and shut the front door of the home, leaving him and the monster girl alone.

"I'm so sorry," Lily said as she leaned over her host to stay in his field of view.

Her face, without the mask, was relatively thin and white as ivory, Her eyes were framed by glasses with thin, black rims, making sure her pink eyes didn't cause him to go into a deeper paralysis.

"Ih o-hay. Ah… I'um heeling ah hingers oww," he mumbled as he tried to say "It's okay. I'm feeling my fingers now."

And to show just that, his fingers twitched back to life, clenching into tight fists and relaxing.

"S-see?"

The serpent let out a breath of relief and helped the numb man to sit up when he could move some of his joints.

"I really hope you don't think less of me over a mistake," Lily said as she avoided looking into his eyes again. "It won't happen again."

He groaned and stretched his arms and legs out. He didn't even think of standing right away until he was sure he could feel his legs. "It's like, ahh, having my entire body fall asleep," he said now with full feeling in his tongue.

"I understand if you want to call Agent Smith and kick me out. Basilisks aren't the safest liminals to host, so I-" she was cut off by Aubrey shaking a finger in front of her.

"No, no. It's alright," he said, resting his hands on his knees and trying to push himself up into a standing position, however shaky. "You mean well, and you're sorry. That's more than my last roommate."

"Do you mean I can stay?"

"Yep. Just, please, make sure you keep your glasses on."

She smiled and raised herself up to give her host a hug, though mostly to support him from falling on his face again. "It's a deal then. Should I take you to your room?"

"That would be good," he said as he weakly put one foot in front of the other. "A short nap is no replacement for a good rest. I'm actually pretty tired."

"That's fair," she said as she escorted him down the hall to his room and let him fall onto the sheets of his bed.

"We'll just start over tomorrow, I guess. We'll forget about today's accident."

"That's fair," she repeated.

"Oh, and Lily…"

"Yes?"

"You look better in glasses."

The basilisk blushed, but the host could clearly see her cheeks split in a smile.

"Goodnight, Aubrey," she said as she slithered backwards out of the room and turned out the light.

"Night, Lily."


End file.
